Friday, January 9, 2009

the none thing

Well folks, I’m sad to report that this is the end of the line for “the nun thing”… well, the blog called “the nun thing”

You see, for me, the nun thing is not a ‘thing’ at all anymore. It’s everything, and at the same time it’s in the background. When I started this blog I would never, ever have imagined that two years later I’d still be here, still 'following the duck’ (see sidebar)

I decided back then to give it a shot so that I could get the idea of me being a sister out of my head and go back to the other plans that I had for my life. I thought I’d realise it wasn’t for me, I thought I’d be miserable, or offended, or at the very least outraged.
And here I am, not outraged, or miserable… but at peace, happy and confident that continuing on this path is how I will continue to find God and to become who God and I both dream I can be.

I still don’t have nice neat answers, but I’ve realised that’s not anywhere near as important and I thought it was. I’m discovering that I don’t need answers. I need questions and I need to be in a place in my life where I can ask questions and search for answers, and search for love and justice and peace… and I find those things here.

But I’ve realised that this journey, at this stage… well, I need to be a bit more internal about it. That probably doesn’t make much sense. What I mean is that I need to just focus on my relationship with God, with Jesus and with my sisters for a bit and blogging doesn’t usually help me to do that.

It’s not that I don’t love the process of writing and getting my thoughts out, and I will keep doing that, but I think for this next bit I need to not be worried or even thinking about what other people might think. And while I’d love to be able to blog and do that, for me it just doesn’t work. Another reason is that people know who I am, which is lovely, but also can be weird… not in a necessarily bad way, but in a way that takes some energy that I’d rather direct to more fundamental concerns. And I’m kind of sad to be taking away my presence from the world of religious/discernment blogging. But I’d like to direct you to some of my favourite buddies Susan Francois CSJP & Julie Vieira IHM. Who both have great blogs and can direct you to lots of others.

For the Australians lurking out there I’d like to direct you to the Catholic Vocations Ministry Australia website where you’ll find a directory of religious in Australia.

I’ve loved being able to share my journey with you and I’ve been deeply moved by the support and encouragement that I’ve received here. You have walked with me through an incredible time in my life. You’ve held me in prayer during some hard times and I know you’ve felt real joy with me at the blessings and discoveries along the way. I’ll be around as a reader, commenter and lurker and I’ll leave this here so if you want to get in touch you can just leave a comment and I’ll get it.

Words are not thanks enough, but that’s all I have to offer, all I’ve ever had to offer… and I’m so grateful for your love, support, concern and interest.

May God bless you with deep peace and contentment on your own journeys… if God can do it for me, God can do it for anyone!

With love, Sarah